Domestic Goddess? Hardly, but it's Christmas!

Happy Monday!
Can you believe Christmas is this week?!? I'm not ready - but I am far more organized than I typically am. Since I have most of my shopping done, I flew into a baking frenzy yesterday. When Michael got home from his shopping excursion it looked like a bomb had gone off in our kitchen. I think he was a bit scared since it's rare for me to spend much time around the oven, but I can testify to the fact that he was enjoying the fruits of my labor. Just don't get used to it. About halfway through the list of recipes I'd decided to whip up I said, "This domestic gig is hard work!" That's why you'll only find me doing this once a year. On that note, I just have to share this list of holiday eating tips my friend Michelle sent me this afternoon. Priceless.

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare. You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-oholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on; make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. . . . Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention.

I hope all of you have a Merry Christmas - or whatever you celebrate this time of year. If you've got the "Bah Humbugs" or you're just feeling stressed about the season, you might check out Anna Quindlen's latest column in Newsweek. I read it last night before bed and thought, "Amen." http://www.newsweek.com/id/174265

Have a wonderful week!
EEK
Erin.Kiernan@whotv.com